Etiquette in Japan, the short honest list
Guests would arrive with a list of forty rules from the internet, terrified of offending someone. Here is the truth from ten years of watching visitors: Japan forgives almost everything a polite foreigner does. Only a few things actually register.
The big four: no tipping anywhere, ever. Shoes off when there is a step up and other shoes at the door. Quiet voices on trains, and no phone calls there. Queue where the markings are, the line is sacred.
Eating: slurping noodles is correct, it is a compliment. Walking while eating is mildly frowned on, stand by the shop instead. In a small counter restaurant, order at least a drink per person and do not linger through a lunch rush when eight people are waiting for your seat.
Onsen and sento: wash sitting down BEFORE you enter the bath, the bath is for soaking not cleaning. Small tattoos are fine in most Tokyo sento now; big ones, check first or book a private bath.
What nobody cares about: using the wrong side of the escalator once, bowing at the wrong angle, imperfect chopstick grip, asking for an English menu. Relax. The fact you are reading this already puts you ahead of most.
Do you tip in Japan?
No. Not in restaurants, not in taxis, not at hotels. Great service is the default, not a transaction. If you leave coins on the table the staff will chase you down to return them.
What are the chopstick rules I should know?
Two real ones: never stand chopsticks upright in rice and never pass food chopstick to chopstick, both are funeral gestures. Everything else, resting them on the bowl, asking for a fork, nobody minds.
When do I take my shoes off in Japan?
Whenever you see a raised floor step and other shoes lined up: homes, ryokan, temples, fitting rooms, some izakaya and old restaurants. The step IS the sign. Slip-on shoes make your trip noticeably easier.
Can I use my phone on the train?
Browse, message and game as much as you like, silently. Phone CALLS in the carriage are the one real taboo. Set it to manner mode like everyone around you.